Best Practices - To begin

Host Families
 
Relationship Building Prior to Hosting
As soon as you know that you are going to be a host family, it is time to start getting acquainted with your exchange student. Assuming your student hasn’t left their home country yet, please email or write to the student about you, your home, your town, school, what clothing will be needed, anything that will help the student become more familiar with the upcoming exchange experience. Send photos of your family and home. If the student is already here, invite them into your home before they move to your house so they will be acquainted with you as a family and with their new surroundings. The more things that they can know and be certain about will help ease the transition and allow them to open and be himself/herself.
Arrival at the Airport
Plan to meet your student at the airport upon arrival. If you have contacted the student prior to their arrival, your presence at the airport will confirm that you really want to have him or her as a part of your family. This is true even if you are family number four. If you can’t be at the airport, plan to meet the student as soon as possible. You could host a party for the student and other host families, or you could have the student over for dinner or a weekend event. Don’t delay. You will have more fun with your student if he/she is comfortable with you as a family.
Parent Notification
The first host family or YEO needs to allow the student notify his/her parents ASAP that the student has arrived safely. The student needs to email, call or both to reassure their parents that all is well. You do not have to pay for the call, but it would be a nice gesture. You could allow the student to call collect, use a calling card, or reimburse you when the bill arrives.
Sleeping Arrangements
You need to provide your student with a bed of his or her own and a space to study without interruptions. A separate room for the student is desirable but not necessary. Many times, when an exchange student feels blue and homesick, they want to be off by themselves until their feelings have been worked out. That’s where a room of their own can be a big help. On the other hand, there are students who would rather share the same room with their host brother/sister and have the opportunity of getting to know them better. Either way, exchange students are good at adapting to your circumstances most of the time, so plan to share your family just as it is, not as what you think someone else would like it to be.
Getting the Student Started in Your Family
Exchange students are really poor at knowing how to fit into a family just by observing the family members in their daily lives. Therefore, you need to hold a family conference with your student almost immediately after he/she moves in with you. It doesn’t matter whether your family is the first host family or last one. YOUR family does things differently from the way they were at home and from all other host families. A list of "First Night Questions" is available in both English and your student’s home language. Your YEO should provide this to you. The interactive form is also available in a combination of many languages at www.yeoresources.org.
The Student's Valuables
THESE ITEMS ARE THE RESPONSIBITY OF THE YEO:
All students arrive with certain valuables that need to be cared for during their time with you. These valuables should be cared for the by the Host Club’s YEO.
  • Certificate of Immunization Status – The student should arrive with a Certificate of Immunization Status. If missing, check with the Counselor or YEO, it may already be here. If it isn’t here, and the student cannot get one, the student may be forced to go to the State health office and get all of the required shots to remain in school.
  • Round-trip airline ticket - Students are required to have a round-trip airline ticket, so they should have their return ticket upon arrival. Since airline tickets are usually Electronic Tickets, copies of the confirmations are made and kept by the club. It is required that the student's passport remain with the student, but copies of passport and visa, insurance records and other important documents are kept in the YEAH database. If you are hosting, make sure you know where the student keeps these documents in case the student must return home quickly.
  • Passport and Visas – Your student only needs to have it if going outside their host country.  For identification purposes, the ID card issued by the Rotary District Committee should be sufficient.  It is recommended that the student keep a copy of their passport with them.
  • Revolving Fund of Cash – should be deposited in a bank or credit union, do not allow the student to have direct access to this account, the YEO should set up the account with a required signature plus the students signature (i.e., the YEO, club counselor, president.) This fund is for emergency use, so it should be placed in an interest bearing savings account.
  • Accident and sickness insurance - Students demonstrate insurance coverage before traveling to District 5050.Make a copy of the policy information so that you have it in case the student needs to access his/her insurance coverage.The YEO also retains this information. As a host parent, you are authorized by a Parental Release Form in the student’s application to act as the student’s guardian in the event the student needs medical treatment or even an operation. You can get a copy of the medical release from the Club Counselor or YEO.
The First Few Days
During the first days after arrival, the student may be suffering from jet lag. S/he could have spent upwards of 40-50 hours up, awake and traveling before getting to you and may be exhausted on arrival. Many students sleep practically through the entire next day before they arise to see what they feel settled enough to start engaging with their host family and host community. You should consider this before planning the first day or two of the student’s life with you. A big party the first night in your home may leave you talking to yourself while the student falls asleep. Please be considerate of the student who has left the comfort and security of home, has been worrying about what life will be like in their new home, who is scared and now, is totally exhausted.
If you are not the first host family, make arrangements in advance so the current family and student know what day and time you will be coming to get the student. The YEO can also provide the transition and transportation to the new home. The student should be packed and ready to go at the arranged time. Don’t be in a rush to get in and out. You may have to deal with tearful goodbyes as the time comes to depart and this could cause a delay. Tears are common, the hardest thing a student has to do is change a family, giving up the known and loved for the unknown, and you too will experience this when the student moves from your home.
Conferences – Father/Son and Mother/Daughter
On the Second Day the first host family (at least) gets the honor of holding yet another conference with the student which is the mother/daughter or father/son conference. This second conference may be handled as tactfully as you desire to make sure that your student is properly versed about life here in our District. Say that you are going to review things about our way of life to make sure there are no misunderstandings, even though life here may be exactly like it is at home.
 
FATHER/SON CONFERENCE
  • Frequency of bathing and use of deodorant
  • Shaving
  • Haircuts and hair care
  • Appropriate dress for various occasions (You may want to say that at least some clothing is worn around the house, since this topic has come up surprisingly often with regard to exchange students here.)
  • The social equality of men and women, boys and girls. This addresses the way men and women treat each other in North America. For example, being “macho” in the manner of Latin countries isn’t the way we do it. Additionally, being passive and flirtatious also does not reflect North American values of gender equality.  Generally, North American values require mutual respect that is not dependent upon age, gender, or status.
  • The dating system here, how it works, and how to be successful, but self-protective during dates. Please support the Rotary rules against love affairs, serious dating, and/or sexual relations.
MOTHER/DAUGHER CONFERENCE
  • Frequency of bathing and use of deodorant, Feminine hygiene, as practiced here.
  • Proper use of cosmetics, some students may never have used cosmetics.
  • Appropriate dress for various occasions (You may want to say that at least some clothing is worn around the house, since this topic has come up surprisingly often with regard to exchange students here.)
  • The social equality of men and women, boys and girls. This addresses the way men and women treat each other in North America. For example, being “macho” in the manner of Latin countries isn’t the way we do it. Additionally, being passive and flirtatious also does not reflect North American values of gender equality.  Generally, North American values require mutual respect that is not dependent upon age, gender, or status.
  • The dating system here, how it works, and how to be successful, but self-protective during dates. Please support the Rotary rules against love affairs, serious dating, and/or sexual relations.
Making Your Student a Real Family Member
Believe it or not, there is such a thing as exchange student segregation, and it can even be in their host families. The segregated student is one who is treated either as a guest of the family, or just as bad, like a family servant. How does this come about?
 
Sometimes it may seem easier to not go through all the effort it takes to expand your family to make your exchange student a real family member. It’s okay if you treat this student as a guest, isn’t it? After all, guests are put on a pedestal and have things done for them to make their life pleasant. You don’t ask guests to take out the garbage or shovel the snow. Yet an exchange student really wants and is expected to be included in all aspects of family life, even if that means shoveling snow or caring for animals, doing dishes or pulling weeds in the garden. Because that is part of how a student knows he or she is really accepted into the family. Students may grumble about some of the less pleasant tasks, but a student who is not included in the family activities to the same degree that the other family members are, realizes it and feels rejected.
 
Occasionally a student has the opposite problem with a host family, and he/she is assigned to do the jobs the family doesn’t want to do themselves. Maybe the student is used as a perpetual baby-sitter, or even as a modern-day Cinderella without the fairy godmother, prince or glass slippers. Any student in this situation is sure to feel abused and rejected by his or her host family. This is in fact considered abuse, and will not be tolerated.
 
Probably the worst family situation an exchange student can get into is to be "shunned." Shunning is the custom of treating a person as if she/he weren’t there and excluding her/him from all forms of human communication. As hosts for an exchange student, it is far too easy to unintentionally "shun" a student who arrives with severe language difficulties if you figure that it’s too difficult to try to talk to your student other than saying "good morning," or "time for dinner."
 
What can your family do to totally integrate your exchange student? Some of the techniques may be obvious from the examples, but basically you should make your student as much a part of your family as if born into it. Be sure he/she has equality of status within your family, the same as all of your family members. No more, no less.
  • Be sure your student shares in the love of your family, just like all the other members.
  • Be sure your student has the benefit of lots of communication with the other family members. If you happen to have a student who is weak in English or shy or introverted, you need to make conversations take place. You can talk about life in the student’s home country and family. Talk about their day in school, what the student likes and doesn’t like. Just talk, talk, and talk some more. Your student will learn faster by talking and can be brought out of himself/herself by talking, so it is well worth the extra effort it takes.
  • Celebrate the special events in the life of your student as if he or she had always been part of your family. These could be things like a birthday, Christmas, Easter, or graduation. There may even be other days that are important in the life of the student such as the “Name Day” and Saint Lucia day of the Scandinavians. Just find out what days are important in the life of your student, how they are celebrated, and join in. You will have a happier student and will have fun learning something more about life in your student’s country.
MOST OF THESE ITEMS ARE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE YEO, HOWEVER THE FAMILY HAS DAY-TO-DAY CONTACT. IF PROBLEMS ARISE, PLEASE NOTIFY THE YEO.